It'll Be Alright
by flour-chan xXx SSS
Summary: John watches Sherlock fall, and it takes its toll on him. John struggles to get back to a normal life, as normal as it could be for John, without Sherlock there. It hard for John, maybe a little too hard for him. Rated T for now. BOYxBOY. No flames please.


It'll be alright - Chapter 1 He's Dead

Disclaimer: I don't own Sherlock or any characters in Sherlock or in my fan made story. This is purely fan made.

Summary: John watches Sherlock fall, and it takes its toll on him. John struggles to get back to a normal life, as normal as it could be for John, without Sherlock there. It hard for John, maybe a little too hard for him.

Authors note: Hey guys, I wrote this pretty quickly which I was surprised about. I was meant to be writing up my 'Angels Keeper' second chapter, so sorry guys I was on a roll with this one :P I thought that if I had finished this one I might as well up it up sorry again for anyone who is waiting for 'Angels Keeper'. I hope you like this, I feel pretty proud of this one XD Anywho on with the show as they say.

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John P.O.V

''It'll be alright Sherlock'' I whispered desperately into my phone whilst looking up at Sherlock on the edge of the roof, ready to jump. To end it all.

''Please Sherlock please, just...just step away from the edge I'll come get you okay?'' I said frantically shaking my head, Sherlock seemed so small so high up.

''I'm sorry John this is the way it has to be.'' He replied, sadness in his voice clear as anything.

''No!'' I said sternly ''No it's not, this is not the only way, we can work this out together. Like always.'' I was fighting back the urge to cry, I would not cry.

''Hah!'' I heard him mutter into the phone ''John I'm a fake, there was never us working out anything'' I thought I could hear him holding back tears, but I know Sherlock and he's not like that.

''I don't believe that. You. Are. Brilliant. And I will always believe in you.'' I said proudly yet brokenly.

''Thank you John, but it's too late'' He said and I watched him fall. I could no longer hold back the tears I was bottling up as I screamed his name.

''SHERLOCK!''

My eyes blurred from my tears, I ran to him but was run over by a bike. I didn't bother to see who it was or to say sorry, I just got up and continue to run to Sherlock. He was all I could think of at that moment in time. By the time I got to him, he was already on the floor. Blood everywhere. I could think, I couldn't breath. All I wanted to do was to see if Sherlock was okay. Everything was suddenly fuzzy, I started to hyperventilate when I couldn't find Sherlock's pulse. I was pushed back, away from him, I was too weak to fight back. Someone was trying to get my attention, I was sat on the edge of an ambulance, I didn't take much notice I just blanked blanked whoever it was out. My only thoughts where that Sherlock...Sherlock was dead. He wasn't coming back, he was gone. He left me all alone. I must of been injected with something to make me sleep because the next thing I know, I'm waking up in a pure white room. I blinked blurrily around the room, confused. And then it hit me all over again. Sherlock, Sherlock was gone. As final realisation set in, I felt my heart shatter and my whole body felt numb. Just then a nurse walked into my room, took one look at me and walked back out again. She came back a few minutes later with a doctor in tow.

''Hello , I'm Doctor Smith and this is Nurse Cassidy. I'm here to help you.'' The doctor, doctor smith, addressed me calmly walking to the side of my to Nurse Cassidy when he spoke of her. I just continued to stare at the white walls of my hospital room. He tried again...

'' ? Hello? Can you hear me? If you can understand me, can you face me?'' I turned my face to look at him, my eyes dead all the light gone. Doctor Smith looked at Nurse Cassidy concerned.

'' how do you feel?'' Doctor Smith asked. What a stupid question, I thought to myself, my best friend has just died and you're asking me 'how I feel?'. I didn't say any of this to him though, all I said was…

''He's Dead.''

Another Nurse came in then; whispered something to Nurse Cassidy, who got up from her seat that I hadn't seen her take, and left the room with the other Nurse. Doctor Smith paid no mind to the Nurse's as they left, and continue to ask me various questions before giving up at my constant silence and he too got up from his seat on the side of my bed and walked out. It was a good couple of hours before Doctor Smith came back, I hadn't moved from my position since he had left.

''Hello again , There's some people here who want to talk to you.'' He said softly to me.

The blinds around my room where closed so I couldn't see who it was, until Detective Inspector Greg Lestrade and Sergeant Sally Donovan walk in. Although I didn't look up at them I wasn't surprised to see them, I knew they would come eventually for my statement on Sher...on Sher...on _his_ death because I was a witness when _he_ fell.

''Hello John'' Lestrade looked at me sadly. Doctor Smith pulled Lestrade to the corner of the room, supposedly so I couldn't hear them.

''He's gone through extreme shock and hyperventilation, I'm surprised he's even up right now. I doubt you'll get much from he's not very responsive.'' Doctor Smith said quietly, looking at me.

''I don't know why, they weren't even that close.'' Donovan said carelessly and loudly. I turned my face slowly to look at her, my face blank and dead but clearly showing my distaste for her comment. She shuddered ''Geez what's with his eyes.'' She said, looking away from me to Doctor Smith.

''He's just seen someone die Sergeant, whether or not they were close, death is bound to take a toll on a persons mental health.'' Doctor Smith replied staring disapprovingly at Donovan. I just continued to stare blankly at Donovan before she shuddered again before turning to Lestrade.

''Sir if it's all the same to you I think i'll wait outside, he's giving me the creeps.'' She said before getting a nod from Lestrade and walking out of the room, not even looking back at me as she left.

''Right well, Doctor if you don't mind?'' Lestrade asked Doctor Smith, who nodded and walked out of the room as well.

''John?'' Lestrade called my name again. ''John, it's me Detective Inspector Greg Lestrade do you remember?'' He asked. He moved himself into my line of vision and tried again.

''John? Please John we need your help on this so we can sort this mess out yeah?'' He said, pity in his eyes as he looked at me.

''He's dead.'' I whispered brokenly. Lestrade looked surprised for a minute before going back into Inspector mode.

''My condolences John. Do you think you can tell me what happened?'' He asked.

''He fell.'' I said simply.

''Right okay, that's something. Can you tell me anything about before Sherlock fell?'' He questioned, I flinched at the mention of _his_ name.

''Phone. Talking. Fell.'' I explained, my eyes misting once again, my breath quickening. Just then Doctor Smith and Nurse Cassidy burst through the door, Doctor Smith came straight over to me and Nurse Cassidy was trying to move Lestrade out of the way and out of the room.

''Wait, hang on I can't go off just that.'' He shouted over his shoulder as Nurse Cassidy pushed him once more out of the room, closing the door behind him.

''John. John can you hear me?'' Doctor Smith asked me.

''John, John I need you to calm down. Breath.'' He said, but I could hear him properly everything was going fuzzy again.

''Get a sedative'' He said to Nurse Cassidy, she disappeared out of the room and within seconds she was back again with a needle in her hands. She handed it to Doctor Smith's outstretched hand and he turned to me.

''Now John, I'm going to give you a sedative okay?'' He said calmly before injecting the sedative into the IV drip that was to my right. Slowly I felt everything fade and my eyes felt heavy before everything went black once more.

Lestrade P.O.V

We had just arrived at the hospital, where John was being kept in for observation, when we met the Doctor who was assigned to John.

''Ah hello you must be Detective Inspector Lestrade and Sergeant Donovan?'' He asked.

''Yes we are, and you are?'' I asked in return.

''I am Doctor Smith, I've been assigned to look after while he's here on observation.'' He replied.

'Right, can we see him?'' I asked

''Yes, right this way'' Doctor Smith said, gesturing down the hall and we followed him through the hospital until we came to a stop outside a private room with all the blinds closed.

''I'll go in first to tell of your arrival.'' He said before disappearing into the closed off room. It was only a couple of minutes before he came back out and called us over to come in.

When I walked through the private hospital room door, I don't know what I was expecting to see but it wasn't Watson sat propped up by pillows with a dead, blank face staring off into the distance in a pure white room. It was as if John Watson was no longer home.

''Hello John'' I said sadly before I was pulled back to the corner of the room by Doctor Smith.

''He's gone through extreme shock and hyperventilation, I'm surprised he's even up right now. I doubt you'll get much from he's not very responsive.'' Doctor Smith said quietly, looking at John.

''I don't know why, they weren't even that close.'' Donovan said carelessly and loudly. John turned his face slowly to look at her, his face blank and dead but clearly showing his distaste for her comment. She shuddered ''Geez what's with his eyes.'' She said, looking away from John to Doctor Smith.

''He's just seen someone die Sergeant, whether or not they were close, death is bound to take a toll on a persons mental health.'' Doctor Smith replied staring disapprovingly at Donovan. John just continued to stare blankly at Donovan before she shuddered again before turning to me.

''Sir if it's all the same to you I think i'll wait outside, he's giving me the creeps.'' She said before I nodded to her and she walked out of the room, not even looking back at John as she left. She was right though, John's demeanor was even giving me goose bumps.

''Right well, Doctor if you don't mind?'' I asked Doctor Smith, who nodded and walked out of the room as well.

''John?'' I called John's name again. ''John, it's me Lestrade do you remember?'' I asked. I moved my into his line of vision and tried again.

''John? Please John we need your help on this so we can sort this mess out yeah?'' I said, trying to keep the pity from my voice and eyes as I looked at him.

''He's dead.'' John whispered brokenly. I was taken by surprise for a minute before going back to asking John about Sherlock's death..

''My condolences John. Do you think you can tell me what happened?'' I asked gently pushing to get some answers.

''He fell.'' John said simply.

''Right okay, that's something. Can you tell me anything about before Sherlock fell?'' I questioned, John seemed to flinch when I mentioned Sherlock's name.

''Phone. Talking. Fell.'' He explained. Then it happened all at once his eyes went misty, his breath quickening, Doctor Smith and a Nurse burst through the door. Doctor Smith went straight over to John and the Nurse was trying to push me out of the room.

''Wait, hang on I can't go off just that.'' I shouted over my shoulder as the Nurse pushed me once more out of the room, closing the door behind me.

''Well fat load of good that did'' I mumbled to myself, just then Sergeant Donovan came over.

''Get anything worth our time?'' She asked huffing.

''Not much'' I replied. ''Just that he fell and they were talking on the phone before Sherlock fell.'' I sighed.

''Well at least you got something.'' She said, putting her hands on her hips.

''Right yeah, his phone. Go see if you can get it off the hospitals hands, there might be something there.'' I directed. She nodded and disappeared around the corner, as Doctor Smith and the Nurse came out of John's room.

''Is it okay to go back in now?'' I asked Doctor Smith.

''No, we couldn't calm him down properly so we hand to give him a sedative.'' Doctor Smith explained, booking no room for argument.

''Okay then, I best be off then'' I said bidding Doctor Smith and the nurse a goodbye before turning and walking away to find my Sergeant. 'This really is a mess' I thought to myself. On the way to the reception desk, I caught sight of Sergeant Donovan waiting for me with what looked like John's phone.

''Is that his phone'' I asked, pointing to the phone.

''Yes'' She replied, holding it out to me to take.

''Good, hopefully we can find something to be able to wrap this all up.'' I exclaimed walking to the entrance and exit.

''But sir'' Said Sergeant Donovan, running slightly to catch up with me. ''I thought this was all sorted, Sherlock was a fraud and committed suicide by jumping of a building because everyone found out.'' She stated.

''Yes, you and I know that but we have to have the evidence. But I have this feeling that something else is going on behind closed doors and I want to find out what.'' I exclaimed as we stood in front of the hospital, the automatic doors closed behind us.

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Authors note: Yay! I hope you liked it. I know it's rather sad I know but I wanted to write about, how I believe, John would have coped in the years that Sherlock was gone. So peeps let me know what you think, but no flames please thankies :)


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